Tuesday, July 13, 2010

103/192: On the edge of a wild ride.

My favorite teacher stressed the details of the postures for us intermediate students and man that class then kicked my butt!  It was nice to be challenged to be better.  However, I wonder how people deal with this aspect of yoga.  I mean you get to a point with a posture that maybe you've never been to before and you start to actually feel good about yourself and then BAM!  You realize there's so much more. How do you keep you ego/self-esteem in tact?  Maybe the point is that you don't!  Just like my walk in the rain on Saturday, I surrendered to the fact that I was going to be soaked and so I might as well have a good time.  Perhaps, just surrendering to the fact that this is lifelong learning and that some of the postures (Actually most) are designed to create discomfort and then deciding to just have a good time with it.  What do you think?

I am proud of myself for not going into despair land and berating myself in that class.  It was a battle but I made it out unscathed by my ego/mind.  I just noticed the negativity coming up and just laughed at it.  Because really having expectations of any kind in that class when you are on the edge of your practice is ridiculous.  Sure after a while you can started to have a trust in what your body will always be able to do, but frankly only if you are playing it safe.  I can do x,y,z if I do abc.  If you are constantly on the edge of your ability, you'll never know where you will go.  On another day, I may not have had the mental fortitude to fight off the mental chatter plus the fatigue.  Maybe I would have.  The point is, who knows.  On the edge - it's a wild ride.

No ride for me tonight.  Acupuncture instead.

2 comments:

  1. KILL YOUR SELF! That means kill your ego! You should feel happy and energized and GOOD after class, but your ego should not be intact at all, it should be dead and gone. :) My favorite teachers are always the ones who can put me in my place and make me realize just how far I still have to go. At the same time, they are also the ones who remind me of how far I've already come. The journey just never ends, and thank god for that!! Can you imagine how BORING it would be if you were already perfect?!

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  2. Not that this is the case for this particular class, but what do you do when you come out of class and you don't feel happy and energized and good? This would be an interesting topic.

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