Processing. Processing. Processing.

When my 5 pm appointment cancelled I developed an amazing case of skipping school-itis.  I'm outta here, outta work and off to home.  I had all these grand intentions of playing with my juicer and doing a home practice.  I walked home 2.5 miles in flip-flops.  I made another juice and then sat down to quick update my mp3 player so I could then do the class in my living room only to discover the internet wasn't working.  An hour later of trying this and trying that and finally I gave up.   I used it as an excuse not to practice and instead read about yoga.  I went to bed later than I planned but all in all I have the sense that I'm doing exactly what I need to do right now.

I wonder sometimes if this blogging thing is good for me and my practice.  I wonder if knowing I am going to write about my practice etc changes and effects my practice.  It causes me to take notice, to judge, to score, to compare, to pay more attention to sensations than is truly necessary for my practice.  It is one thing to notice and be mindful and another to form an opinion which then affects the outcome sometimes even unconsciously.  Reminds me of a report I saw once of how when a scientist works on an experiment he/she actually affects the experiment simply by conducting the experiment. Not sure where that's from - maybe a Dan Brown book???  Nonetheless, here I am writing.  There are pros and cons to everything.

I do like tallying up my practices but why?  It makes me feel like they have more meaning and that they are more of an "accomplishment".  That's interesting.  As if, just doing something just because I enjoy it isn't "worthwhile" and that if you aren't doing something in order to "accomplish" then there is no worth in it.  Funny how the brain twists things around and you don't even realize it.  Well, calling it like it is, is often the first step to making changes so there it is.

I might just spend my entire summer reading on a hammock.  I might not. :)