Starting from scratch - Day 1, again!

So after day one last week, I went home not feeling right and that pain in my backside got worse and worse and worse until finally - explosion. I ended up having the flu and the worst I've had it since I was a kid. I had a fever up to 102 degrees on and off for three whole days. It was enough to zap the will to live from me.

Finally, last night - a week and a day later - I was able to return to yoga. Tuesday morning was the first morning I woke up and my body agreed that it missed yoga. So off I went. It was scary. I decided to take it easy and see how it goes. I was really wondering whether this was the right time to go start a 90 day streak and it might take me longer than expected to recover from this flu.

Class was rough. Dizzy's from standing bow on through the rest of the class. Limbs heavy. Really HEAVY. Deep compression forward or back wasn't happening but the little I did I'm sure did me good. Half way through I thought to myself that if I had an ego before it most certainly is gone now. It dawned on me, that perhaps that is what I needed anyway. Maybe that flu was all part of the plan to teach me humanity and to learn 1) to have more compassion for myself 2) to have compassion for others but perhaps not in the way I might before 3) to let go of any accomplishment necessary in my practice. There is no end journey, no goal to aspire to but yet there is. Of course, we all look to make progress in a posture here or there, but it is not concrete like all those goal-setting books make it. It just happens one day. Then it might not the next and then it happens another day until that's the norm.

I made it through the class. One high point is that I did have the best eagle I've had to date. Got both feet wrapped! Then, I was able to get it all in line somehow still breathing and keeping my balance. Whoah. Where did that come from? I was struggling with that for a while. I remember last year wondering if I'd ever be able to wrap that foot? And then, there, suddenly, during probably one of worst classes -there it was!

This morning, I feel like myself again and I am HUNGRY! YEAH! I don't think I've ever been so excited about having an appetite. This afternoon, it's off to yoga and day 2. Oh, yeah - I've decided that destination 90 it is - I'll just look up and there it is!

I can't wait to go again tonight, it may not be a "perfect" yoga practice but it will be my practice for where I am today.