Day 9: Dialogue according to Monkey Mind.

Pranayama -

Toes and Heels together...Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah.

Half Moon with Hands to Feet Pose ...

stretch up, bend to the side and push your hips.... BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.  Breathe.  BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Change. Bend to the other side.  BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Don't be scared, relax your head back, immediately arms back.  BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Grab your heels.  BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

Ibid.

Utkatasana ...

6 inches apart. Sit down in the chair.  BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Stand up on your tippy toes. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Knees down.  Go all the way down, all the way down. Half inch gap (FUCK!). BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Come back up slowly without leaning forward (FUCK!). BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

Ibid.

Hold off on water.  One more posture and we have a break.

Eagle pose, Garurasana ...

Right from left, don't mix them up. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. In one line, upper body back. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Change. Left under right. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Wrap the left toes. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

Party time.

Something about balancing series.

Dandayamana BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

Shift your weight to your left leg, round down, interlock your fingers in front of you and pick up your foot. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

CHANGE. Shift your weight to your right leg. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. CHANGE.

Ibid.

Balancing Stick Pose...

when you hear the clap it's over. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Leg up body, down. CHANGE. Step forward with your left leg. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. CHANGE. Arms at your side. Breathe.

Ibid.

Dandayamana Bibhaktapada BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH...

Feet pigeon toed. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Pulling is the object of stretching. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Lock your knees and Roll forward like a wheel. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Right foot back.

Ibid.

Trikanasana...

Everything has prepared you for this one. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Parallel to the floor. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Left leg locked, left foot locked. Change.

Ibid except right leg locked, right foot flat.

Dandayamana Bibhaktapada BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH stretching pose...

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.  Hips in one line. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.  Throat choked. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Weight in your right leg.BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Come up first then turn to your left 180 degrees. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Come up then turn to the front.  BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. 

Ibid.

Tree pose...

Take one step to the right to your mat. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Change. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. High up on your costume. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Change. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.  Otherwise do another set of tree pose. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Knees in line. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Come up the same way you went into the posture. (my knees aren't bent when I go in but always are on the way out. Oops.) Shoulders in one line. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Change.

Ibid.

(Wow that went quick).

Have a drink of water and lay down for SAVASANA...

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Relax. Relax. Relax. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. (Meditate on my breathing).

Wind removing pose...

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. SAVASANA. 20 seconds. Ibid.

our first SITUP.

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

Cobra pose...

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Cobra tail. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.  Belly button off the ground. (Nope). BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Deltoids in the mirror? BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Look up. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Ibid.

Locust pose...

Arms underneath your body. Elbows as close together as possible. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Mouth on the towel. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Toes together heels out. Ibid.

Airplane wings...

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Arms up. Arms back. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.  Only your hips on the floor. (Nope) BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Ibid.

Poorna Salabhasana ...

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Wrists straight. (?) BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Roll body weight forward. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Bring knees back to 6 inches apart. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Lift up, look up. Change.

Push up to FIXED FIRM...

Good time to have a drink of water but sit on your heels first. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.  Be careful with your knees.  BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Hips on floor touching heels. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Feet straight line. Right elbow. left elbow. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Change. SAVASANA - BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Ibid.

Half Tortoise...

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Slowly. Forehead touches first then the pinkies. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. SAVASANA. Ibid.

CAMEL Ustrasana...

Knees 6 inches apart. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Push your hips forward. Relax your head back. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.  Put your hands back on your hips and push back up. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. SAVASANA. Ibid.

RABBIT ...

Wrap the towel over your feet. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Deepest forward bend. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Do not move your head in the posture. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Slowly curl back up. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. SAVASANA. Ibid.

Janushirasana with Paschimottanasana ...

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Roll to the left side.  BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.  Roll to the right side. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Lay back and quickly come back up. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Heels up off the ground and pull. SAVASANA. Ibid.

Spine Twisting Pose...

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.  H-E-E-L. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Change. H-E-E-L. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.  Look back to the mirror. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Change. SAVASANA.

Khapalbhati Blowing in Firm ...

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Relax the stomach muscles. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Sharp Exhales. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. 5-4-3-2-1. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Faster this time. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Lay back in Savasana.

SAVASANA - Two minutes. Relax your BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

That's the dialogue in complete.  What do you think all you teacher trainees???  Don't you think this would be better???  Just kidding.  It was the weirdest thing last night just being so preoccupied and going yeah, yeah get to it.  I rarely have these experiences.  But literally this is what the dialogue sounded like to me and it SO was not the teacher's fault.  Just my monkey mind.   Isn't it funny what sticks out to you when you are just having a class when you are going through the motions and you are anywhere but where you are???  I always heard CHANGE and SAVASANA!
~ Ladiladida