Day 12: Adapt and/or die

Part of the reason this yoga practice is so transformative (beyond the fact that you start working on the spine from pranayama to the last posture) is that it allows you to experience the learning curve and FREQUENTLY.  The Darwin quote goes something like "It is not the strongest species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change."  Whether you like or don't like Darwin, adapting to change is something us human beings at some point in our lives must do and do frequently.  It can be the cause of torment and emotional upheaval or one can learn to adapt, "trust the process" and allow the learning curve or adaptation to happen. 

This practice forces me to go through the process frequently.  Now I recognize it as it is happening as before I did not.  I used to listen to my monkey mind serve up all my sensations as reasons that something must be wrong... it hurts here, I couldn't breathe it must have been too hot, my heart is beating too fast I didn't pace myself, and the occasional "OH, that teacher pushes too hard!" ... blah, blah, blah.   I can recognize this all as the resistance to change.  Slowly but surely I am learning to just GO for the ride.

I tried applying a few things from the posture clinic yesterday in class today.  Sucking the stomach in MORE for the breathing and taking deep breaths before the postures followed by the 80/20 breathing technique.  I also focused on squeezing the ankles and therefore inner muscles of the legs together.  I also worked on the triceps and pushing the fingertips to the toes and the body away in locust.  Add all these new things together and my heart and lungs revolted!  Heart beating so fast and so loud.  Lost my breath and even breathed through my mouth a few times! It was a good death in service of change.  Monkey mind was busying serving up sensations but I just kept going the best I could - other than the dizzies in triangle and sitting out on a set there, I just kept doing the best I could.

I wish I could say I could see the change immediately but again I am learning to not look for the results.  This is something that takes time - patience.