My favorite teacher stressed the details of the postures for us intermediate students and man that class then kicked my butt! It was nice to be challenged to be better. However, I wonder how people deal with this aspect of yoga. I mean you get to a point with a posture that maybe you've never been to before and you start to actually feel good about yourself and then BAM! You realize there's so much more. How do you keep you ego/self-esteem in tact? Maybe the point is that you don't! Just like my walk in the rain on Saturday, I surrendered to the fact that I was going to be soaked and so I might as well have a good time. Perhaps, just surrendering to the fact that this is lifelong learning and that some of the postures (Actually most) are designed to create discomfort and then deciding to just have a good time with it. What do you think?
I am proud of myself for not going into despair land and berating myself in that class. It was a battle but I made it out unscathed by my ego/mind. I just noticed the negativity coming up and just laughed at it. Because really having expectations of any kind in that class when you are on the edge of your practice is ridiculous. Sure after a while you can started to have a trust in what your body will always be able to do, but frankly only if you are playing it safe. I can do x,y,z if I do abc. If you are constantly on the edge of your ability, you'll never know where you will go. On another day, I may not have had the mental fortitude to fight off the mental chatter plus the fatigue. Maybe I would have. The point is, who knows. On the edge - it's a wild ride.
No ride for me tonight. Acupuncture instead.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
101/189 & 102/190: Living life
The "evil" teacher was actually nice to me for the Friday class after me dreading it all day. What a waste of energy that dread was! He even commented on my triangle being good. Can't say that wasn't nice to hear. I'm glad I went to the class because I did consider skipping out. I ended up going to the Last Airbender afterward with my husband and on a side note please DO NOT waste your money on that movie. It's so bad.
Saturday was an awesome class just for the mere fact that I arrived after having walked 30 minutes in a downpour. It was one of those amazing moments of surrender and then just joy. There was no doubt I was going to yoga, I had to walk because I couldn't find my keys to my scooter, and well it was raining - so get soaked it was! I laughed most of the way on the walk and arrived like Elvis had entered the building completely SOAKED. My yoga clothes in my bag were dry but not for long as I then sweat in class!
A good friend took his 101st class in a row in that class so I just had to be there. It was also a teacher I hadn't had in a while whose class I enjoy. Overall, the week rounded out nicely. I took 5 classes last week! I haven't done that in a while.
Day off yesterday was nice with a walk in the morning with a dear friend, a movie with my husband, finishing reading Eat, Pray, Love which I think kind of petered out in the end, and of course took a nap in my hammock. I prepared all my juices for the day last night so it was nice to start the morning mostly prepared and able to take some time doing some qigong!
Off to class later today!
Saturday was an awesome class just for the mere fact that I arrived after having walked 30 minutes in a downpour. It was one of those amazing moments of surrender and then just joy. There was no doubt I was going to yoga, I had to walk because I couldn't find my keys to my scooter, and well it was raining - so get soaked it was! I laughed most of the way on the walk and arrived like Elvis had entered the building completely SOAKED. My yoga clothes in my bag were dry but not for long as I then sweat in class!
A good friend took his 101st class in a row in that class so I just had to be there. It was also a teacher I hadn't had in a while whose class I enjoy. Overall, the week rounded out nicely. I took 5 classes last week! I haven't done that in a while.
Day off yesterday was nice with a walk in the morning with a dear friend, a movie with my husband, finishing reading Eat, Pray, Love which I think kind of petered out in the end, and of course took a nap in my hammock. I prepared all my juices for the day last night so it was nice to start the morning mostly prepared and able to take some time doing some qigong!
Off to class later today!
Friday, July 9, 2010
100/188: Yellow Rose of Texas
Last night's practice was weird for me. I was reading Eat, Pray, Love before I left for class and I was at the part in the book where she is happy with the place she has rented in Indonesia and how she was giving names to all the flowers in the garden there since she didn't know that names of them, incredibly creative names. I guess I just had gardens and flowers on the brains and I just let my imagination run wild in that class. I became a yellow texas rose with its flower petals blooming to the sunshine of the teacher's voice with my roots digging their heels (quite literally) into the sand. This image started in half moon after a very wild and restless pranayama but the image calmed me and kept going until the very end of class. I was constantly furling and unfurling to the sun. To think of stretching like a leaf is reaching toward the sun is an excellent analogy. It's a very efficient process - no herking and jerking, no grunting and pushing - just constant reaching for the sun. Nature has a way of finding a way and particularly through adversity so I am not painting a picture of constant bliss and peace and non-attachment here. There is honor in reaching for the sun particularly when one is in the bottomless pit of the forest of emotions or fatigue. However, the effort is no longer a pressure from the outside-in but a natural longing and yearning for what is best for us for that day. I remind myself that the higher one reaches the firmer one must resolve to continually renew the foundation. I also remind myself that roses and rose petals to be specific are delicate and one must be gentle with a rose.
What foundation of my yoga practice shall I renew?
OMG - this all came from a little meditation in a 90 minute yoga class where I was thinking about flowers rather than the postures that I "should" have been thinking about!
I am a flower petal blooming and one must be delicate and gentle with my Yellow Rose of Texas but not forget she's a persistent flower digging her roots in the sand to survive the hottest of conditions - and I'm not talking about the temperature in the room.
What foundation of my yoga practice shall I renew?
- Breath. I will always return to the breath. Long, deep inhales - slow deep exhales during savasanas; normal breathing in postures. In and out through the nose. No exasperated huffing and puffing and sighing and groaning. If I lose the breath, I've gone too far and it's time to back off. The breath is life to myself and the fuel for the posture. Desparate for breath=desparate for posture=ego=greater possibility of injury. Calm and easy breath=calm and easy posture you could maintain for what seems like forever=no need for ego=greater possibility of deepening the benefits of the practice and reaching further into the sunlight.
- The right way of the posture, step by step. This is where the ego is such a bugger. If I am reaching for what is best for me then how far into the posture I go should not matter. Renewing myself to as much of the right way as possible for the day and having the presence of mind to stay there until I am relaxed into the strength of that place to then move further. Step by step though is the bugger. To stay where it is uncomfortable for me in the first or second part of the posture whilst everyone else moves on takes quite a bit of surrendering the ego.
- Pada Hastasana (Hands to Feet Pose) is a perfect example for me. I am trying to hard to get those elbows behind the calves and keep them there. I get it but it's uncomfortable. I've got too much tummy and the muscles I do have under there fatigue quickly. Oh, how I must suck my stomach in and also how tired my calves and ankles get in this awkward position. But then my ego (and the dialogue) says pull, pull, pull and lift your hips and lock your knee. I listen and lose the good form (the right way), my shoulders come up, my wrists filet out. Sure, my hips come up, my head gets to somewhere on my shins which I'm sure is not low enough. What would happen if I just stayed in the first part of the posture and maintained the right way instead of following my ego and the rest of the dialogue? Perhaps, I would actually build and learn to stretch those muscles in my abs and my calves not to mention, the biceps, fingers, wrists and the scapula to actually maintain the correct form and THEN move on to the next part of the posture. It's just a thought, an experiment, an idea that would be worth a try. I mean what is a few classes out the many I will do in a lifetime to try a little experiment?
- To Thine Own Self Be True. And be HONEST about it. If I try the right way even 1-3% and to the best of my abilities, I get benefits, right? That's great. So what is that per day? How do you measure? There's a lot of Type A's out there in our style of yoga (CN I <3 U) and being the overachiever, serious student that I am, it's super hard to tread that line of doing your best to doing your beyond to ending up doing nothing even remotely close to your best and feeling pretty crappy about it. I'd like to get off of that ferris wheel that leads no where thank you very much. It's hard to be truly honest with oneself. But this is yoga too. Everything is yoga. If I am tight one day, if I am tired, if I have injury, blah, blah, blah - it doesn't matter what excuse there is - can't I still practice my yoga somehow? See first two bullets. But then there are days where yoga requires you not to practice and that is ok too. Sometimes my yoga calls me to sing, to run and play outside, or spend time with friends and family, and yes it even sometimes calls me to do my laundry and clean my house :( Can we say could I please go back to the torture chamber it's so much better than cleaning, or going to work, or dealing with people I don't want to deal with!) Sometimes it's easier to just go to class but the hard way is normally the right way, right? Sometimes you can do both. Sometimes you can do more than you ever dreamed, beyond your wildest imaginings. Sometimes just a leap of faith is all it takes for the universe to respond "YES!" and it simply waits for your leap of faith. Not a leap of faith in something else but in trusting the truth of myself.
OMG - this all came from a little meditation in a 90 minute yoga class where I was thinking about flowers rather than the postures that I "should" have been thinking about!
I am a flower petal blooming and one must be delicate and gentle with my Yellow Rose of Texas but not forget she's a persistent flower digging her roots in the sand to survive the hottest of conditions - and I'm not talking about the temperature in the room.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
99/187: Mantra happiness
Some new "mantras", as I like to call them, popped into my head last night during class
I'm happy and feeling quite free.
Two favorite quotes to leave you with today:
"Something we were withholding made us weak, until we found it was ourselves." - Robert Frost
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." - Mark Twain, American writer
- "relax into the strength of the posture" (I like this one)
- "do my joyful, daily duty" (a variation on an oldie but goodie)
- "let's see where I am today" (in the first set)
- "let's see where I might go today" (in the second set)
- "I love myself" (blush)
- "and hold it" (at the maximum for my day - hold it for 3 seconds)
I'm happy and feeling quite free.
Two favorite quotes to leave you with today:
"Something we were withholding made us weak, until we found it was ourselves." - Robert Frost
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." - Mark Twain, American writer
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
98/186: Good stuff.
I enjoyed my practice last night. I am focusing at looking my eyes in the mirror more than usual and this is good for me. There is nothing like facing yourSELF in the mirror. I felt like half moon backbending second set was better than it's been in a long time. Sucking my stomach in was a challenge for whatever reason last night - maybe it's that fact that my belly is red beet burned! mmm red beets. I digress. Weirdly camel wasn't so hot. Just gotta relax.
That's my theme these days. To relax. To learn to relax into the postures. To find that fine line between pushing but not pushing. I'm ready for life to no longer be stressful ... anymore.
I'm a little sore today and yoga hungover. I cleaned the studio last night and sweat just as much doing that as the class! I'm looking forward to a good stretch today though and will probably just take it a little easier tonight.
That's my theme these days. To relax. To learn to relax into the postures. To find that fine line between pushing but not pushing. I'm ready for life to no longer be stressful ... anymore.
I'm a little sore today and yoga hungover. I cleaned the studio last night and sweat just as much doing that as the class! I'm looking forward to a good stretch today though and will probably just take it a little easier tonight.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
94/179, 95/181, 96/182, 97/184: Namaste with the Bare Necessities
As I mentioned in my last blog, I have been wondering whether blogging was good for my practice or not. So I took a week off from writing. I've come to the conclusion that it's not necessarily the blogging that's the problem it's the intention behind it. Isn't it that way with everything? So long story short, I will continue to blog but perhaps differently or at least perhaps not as frequently.
So here's my catch up. I got this lovely hot yoga masterclass book (super expensive) recently as a treat to myself and a means to re-invigorate my practice (just like a new outfit motivates one to work out?). At first, I felt like this book would have been more novel a year ago when I first saw it online. Most things I have since learned in this year while I waited to purchase it. Though it's nice to have a visual and there are certainly many tidbits in there which I am trying out and we will see if they are for better or worse. Either way, it's nice to have a sense of curiosity in my practice rather than expectations! That was my piece of wisdom from last Tuesday's class. Thursday's class was more of the same. My camel and backbends felt much better. I had a really deep standing separate leg stretching head to knee pose. I came out of it and saw nothing but stars. I had to sit out of tree pose. I just couldn't see straight. Oh well.
Friday - ugg, ok how do I explain Friday. I mentioned how last Friday's class wasn't so great - tired etc., etc., etc. Well, my greeting by same teacher this Friday was "so you're going to do all 26 postures tonight right?" Gotta love it. I find it funny I am getting this expectations-oriented question when I am currently letting go of an expectations-oriented class, heck I am letting go of a results/expectations-oriented life! I laugh now, but this sat on my heart most of the weekend. My ego wishing it had come up with some splashier comeback - blah, blah, blah. Despite this, or perhaps in spite of it, I had probably the best class I've had in a long while. Best camel I've done in a very long time, cobra feeling good, good triangle. I should have walked away from that class walking on air. Instead I just walked away with a really bad taste in my mouth and someone else's bad energy smeered all over me. Ylick, bluck. Insert Mr. Yuck symbol!
Sunday - well, I went to the 10 am class and took a class with a teacher I hadn't had yet and two other people - one who is a good friend who heard my tale of woe from Friday night's class. Thanks for listening. Anyway, it was a good class and much needed after all the junk I ate/DRANK at a picnic the previous night and my foul mood from Friday!
I ran out of time to take class yesterday with celebrating our 14th wedding anniversary and finishing up some home projects before going back to WORK today.
It's hot and humid out and perfect for practicing yoga. I can't wait to practice today and stretch out. I'm sore from playing on my new toy - the yoga trapeze! Swingin' like a monkey :), I find myself doing the Moagley/Bear dance often these days. Namaste with the bare necessities!
So here's my catch up. I got this lovely hot yoga masterclass book (super expensive) recently as a treat to myself and a means to re-invigorate my practice (just like a new outfit motivates one to work out?). At first, I felt like this book would have been more novel a year ago when I first saw it online. Most things I have since learned in this year while I waited to purchase it. Though it's nice to have a visual and there are certainly many tidbits in there which I am trying out and we will see if they are for better or worse. Either way, it's nice to have a sense of curiosity in my practice rather than expectations! That was my piece of wisdom from last Tuesday's class. Thursday's class was more of the same. My camel and backbends felt much better. I had a really deep standing separate leg stretching head to knee pose. I came out of it and saw nothing but stars. I had to sit out of tree pose. I just couldn't see straight. Oh well.
Friday - ugg, ok how do I explain Friday. I mentioned how last Friday's class wasn't so great - tired etc., etc., etc. Well, my greeting by same teacher this Friday was "so you're going to do all 26 postures tonight right?" Gotta love it. I find it funny I am getting this expectations-oriented question when I am currently letting go of an expectations-oriented class, heck I am letting go of a results/expectations-oriented life! I laugh now, but this sat on my heart most of the weekend. My ego wishing it had come up with some splashier comeback - blah, blah, blah. Despite this, or perhaps in spite of it, I had probably the best class I've had in a long while. Best camel I've done in a very long time, cobra feeling good, good triangle. I should have walked away from that class walking on air. Instead I just walked away with a really bad taste in my mouth and someone else's bad energy smeered all over me. Ylick, bluck. Insert Mr. Yuck symbol!
Sunday - well, I went to the 10 am class and took a class with a teacher I hadn't had yet and two other people - one who is a good friend who heard my tale of woe from Friday night's class. Thanks for listening. Anyway, it was a good class and much needed after all the junk I ate/DRANK at a picnic the previous night and my foul mood from Friday!
I ran out of time to take class yesterday with celebrating our 14th wedding anniversary and finishing up some home projects before going back to WORK today.
It's hot and humid out and perfect for practicing yoga. I can't wait to practice today and stretch out. I'm sore from playing on my new toy - the yoga trapeze! Swingin' like a monkey :), I find myself doing the Moagley/Bear dance often these days. Namaste with the bare necessities!
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