Day 4 Show up ... you never know what you can do.

I didn't go yesterday.  I chose to stay out late with some friends, didn't get enough sleep and woke up with a sore throat so didn't get myself to the early am class which is the only I could get to.  I toyed with doing a home practice that night but didn't.  My choice.  I will do a double on Sunday.

Today, I didn't "feel" like going.  I had planned to actually run to yoga and then stretch it out in the class.  I couldn't find my running outfit. Monkey mind said just practice at home.  Then, I don't know what happened I got angry.  I just was pissed at myself.  I grabbed my stuff, rode off on my scooter to class.  I just wanted to kill my lower-case self. I needed a good ass-whooping from my higher SELF.  I looked in the mirror this practice.  Really looked.  I loved my Self and let my self go. 

I rocked this class!  Front Row. Every posture 110%.  The right way.  I kept saying to myself "you never know what you can do... you've got nothing to lose, you never had anything to begin with"!

On a side note, it was really cool that Michelle Kwan - olympic champion figure skater took her first Bikram yoga class on the mat right behind me!  This yoga is an equalizer.  We are all human beings on our own separate journeys yet together sweating, suffering and evolving into a greater form of ourselves in 90 minutes.  How cool is that?!!!  I am always excited when someone new is behind me.  It inspires me and I always have an amazing practice because I want to be the best of myself and share my love and energy for this practice with someone new who needs it.  Sometimes I check on the newbies in the mirror behind me but honestly, I was too busy killing myself to bother even for her!  I wasn't positive it was her until after she left anyway, but she was very nice, normal and I truly hope she continues to practice for her own healing.

As I listened to the teacher explain something about back bending to her after class, everything he was saying was on the tip of my tongue.  On my way home, it became clear to me that this IS my calling.  To guide someone to healing through this practice ... to see others find the truth of themselves in the mirror.  As a performer, I've always felt my role was to hold up the mirror to the audience for them to see their own humanity.  Through whatever song or character I portrayed - they would see some truth of themselves in that performance.  But add healing to that performance and this yoga and its dialogue  - It is such a direct mirror for enlightenment, for anyone seeking the truth.

Whew! How will I ever sleep tonight?